Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Back then it was like a digital prostate exam

A couple of weeks ago I was at City Hall to start the process of renewing my three Ground Transportation Bureau licenses -- pedicab operator, tour guide, and buggy driver. In the waiting room with me was was an elderly cab driver accompanied by his two young grandsons. I guess that he had babysitting duty and had decided to bring them along on his errands.

I head one of them say, "Grandpa, this is the doctor's office, isn't it?"

Grandpa's attention was focused on filling out the renewal application, and he mumbled "No" without looking up from his paperwork.

"Yes it is!" The child insisted. Then ignoring his distracted grandpa, he turned to his younger sibling and said knowingly, "This is it! I know this place. This is the doctor's office!"

This morning I had a doctor's appointment, and as soon as it was over I biked straight over to City Hall to resume my license renewal process. Walking into one waiting room fresh from the other, it struck me that while that kid might have been technically incorrect, he was definitely onto something! Dealing with the Taxicab Bureau is about as pleasant as a medical procedure.

Having said that, I'm a four-year veteran of the transportation industry now; this is my third go-round dealing with the Bureau; and to be honest, things are way better than they used to be! When I first obtained my licenses four years ago, the process was a nightmare. On a pleasantness scale, I would rate it similar to a digital prostate exam -- except much more drawn out. It took weeks if not months of repeated visits to City Hall to complete the process. Two years ago when I had to renew the licenses, things had gotten a good bit easier. More like a root canal. This time around, everything is so much more efficient and people are so much nicer, and I'd say that it's not much worse than a tetanus shot.

That's definitely progress. And whenever I'm tempted to think that nothing ever gets better in New Orleans, I need only to remind myself of this experience.

Nevertheless, I'm left with one big question: Why do we need to go through any of this at all anymore? Why do we need to undergo a federal background check and a urine test for drugs (both of which we have to pay for out of pocket); submit line letters from our employers, old utility bills as proof of residence, and an official driving record (which we also have to pay for)? In the era of Uber, whose drivers apparently manage to transport people efficiently and safely without jumping through any of these hoops, shouldn't it be obvious to everyone that the whole process is just plain silly? Or am I missing something?